Neely Tubati-Alexander
Neely Tubati-Alexander is the author of women’s fiction with rom-com feels you can escape into with a smile. If she’s not tucked away at the little desk in her bedroom writing, you can find her at some kiddo activity (so many activities), drinking wine, or watching reality TV, usually both of the last two together.
Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?
One thousand times yes! There have been so many moments, especially as a debut, where I’ve thought “who am I to get…” fill in the blank. I’ve had self-doubt, fear and anxiety about whether people will connect with my book. But ultimately, I have to remind myself I have been validated in so many ways throughout this process. And, I have to know that my book will not be for everyone while trusting that it will find the readers who connect with it. I think women, in particular, limit ourselves because we are worried we don’t have the experience or skills that someone else might. The reality is, the stretch between where we are and where we want to be is where the good stuff happens.
Not all books are for all readers… when you start a book and you just don’t like it, how long do you read until you bail?
Perhaps I shouldn’t admit it, but I bail pretty easily. Sometimes within the first few pages. Our time is valuable, and if I know I just don’t connect with a book in a way that will give me joy or whatever else I am looking for from that particular read, I need to move on to something that will. There are so many tremendous books out there and my TBR stack is always growing, so I’d rather spend the commitment of several hours of my time with something that is serving me.
This notion is a great reminder to me in my own writing. My reader’s time is so valuable and I am asking them to commit hours of their life to my characters. I can’t do that in good faith if I am not doing my absolute best to ensure I am providing an entertaining, well-paced, thought-provoking and enjoyable experience.
What’s the difference (at least for you!) between being a writer and an author? How do you shift gears between the two?
A writer creates sentences, an author is a storyteller. When I first started writing, I naively thought that if I could string pretty sentences together, that made me an author. What I found, however, is that storytelling is an art, a skill. The good news is, that like any other skill, storytelling can be learned. The transition from writer to author can be a tough one, full of growing pains and rejection, but it’s necessary to get to the point of “author.” For me, this skill sharpening came via craft books, film, and hundreds of thousands of words written. And it’s a great reminder that projects that perhaps don’t get finished or that never see that light of day are all part of learning your craft and therefore never wasted.
If you could create a museum exhibition, what would be the theme?
What a thought-provoking question! I’d love to have an exhibition that focuses on all the good in the world. Neighbors helping neighbors, strangers stepping up for people they’ve never met, and example after example of kindness. We are so bombarded with all the bad in the world, we often forget that most people are kind, caring and giving at their core. We need to highlight examples of this more often, any chance we get.
What is the oddest thing a reader has ever asked you about?
It will always be weird having people you know read your books, because they always assume characters are based on people in your life and they often read the book like it’s a scavenger hunt to find out which character is which real-life person. The truth is, while I am constantly pulling real life situations or manuerisms, personality traits or experiences from people my life, it’s too straight-forward to say a character is based on one person. In reality, its always an amalgamation of multiple people rolled into one character. And, I’ve had friends read sex scenes and say they pictured me and my husband! That. Is. Awkward.
