Kyomi O’Connor

Kyomi O’Connor is actively working to address her past emotional abuse, she moved to the States in 1990 to work as a researcher. There she met her husband-to-be, Patrick, an English researcher with Irish heritage. Her life journey led to a career change when the couple moved to San Diego for his job, and when together they entered into Buddhist practice. As Patrick became ill in 2013, Kyomi took care of him for three years until his death. Writing her memoir has been part of her journey to find the wholeness of herself.

Twitter: @Kyomi_oconnor

Instagram: @Memoir_writer2

What’s the oddest thing a reader has ever asked you?

I was asked by one of my Japanese friends, who read my book as it is in English. She’s been a successful producer of international exhibits and productions in promoting modern art and creativity. She has a great free spirit and empowerment of herself and others through her life works.

One day after she read my book, she asked me how I felt by totally exposing myself and my family in the public as if I were lying naked on the street in front of Isetan department store at Shinjuku station. That street is one of the best-known busiest pedestrian traffic in Japan. What she asked me was how I could put myself and my book in such a vulnerable position- totally naked.

Did I ever feel afraid of being seen naked? Of course, I did. However, it didn’t stop me writing. Once the book is published, I wouldn’t have any control over what and how readers feel from what I put down in my book.

I wasn’t afraid of being vulnerable to myself, but I was concerned about disclosing “my own truths” around my late husband and my families. I stripped everything inside and outside of myself so entirely that I could achieve to thoroughly appreciate the essence of me and the people in me, which resulted in making me love them even more.

Favorite non-reading activity?

I love cooking, walking, practicing yoga or QiGong as I breathe in and out and meditate through daily actions. The activities become part of flows and creativity in my life.

Is your go to comfort food sweet or savory? Is it something you make yourself? Does food inspire your writing?

I love foods, the ways they are cooked in orchestration, and presented. I love cooking with my experimental spirit and freedom. I also love and appreciate dining excellent foods too.

When I cook foods, I don’t usually follow recipes. I look at a few recipes and eat several versions of them, then I would modify and create my own foods using my own ingredients, seasoning, and spices of my own creativity. Once I understand how the ingredients are cooked, put together, and transformed into something magical, I can’t stop trying my own experiments.

For instance, I must have baked “bread puddings” more than a hundred times for my late husband, families, and friends. But I believe every one of them are slightly or quite different from each other, though I was told all were excellent according to those who ate them. I am interested in baking bread puddings everyone can enjoy, but not reproducing “my signature dish” every time.

My love for cooking is not conditioned as luxury. When I have limited ingredients available to cook something specific, I can still make the most out of the ingredients for us to enjoy decent and flavorful enough foods out of the limited supply. And of course, foods taste best when we have company, and dine them together with family and friends.

Foods inspire me for creativity, the same way writing does. But I enjoy cooking more for a larger freedom to explore and experiment. ;)

What brings you great joy?

I would be the happiest and joyous, when I feel and see love and humanity in people’s eyes, thoughts, words, and actions, and their relationships. I believe in our goodness, humanity, potential, and love no matter what we see in the current world. To experience joy and happiness, we must invent ourselves and stay humble to uphold these invisible values.

 Do you speak a second language? Do you think differently in that language? Does it influence your writing?

I speak Japanese. Japanese is one of the most difficult languages to learn in the world. For example, in a Japanese sentence, you may have to wait until the end of the sentence to fully understand the content and the structure of the sentence. All the five W and one H, who the subject is, whom the object is, when (tense), where, and what and how an action is taken place, plus if the action ends in a negative or an affirmative form, would be revealed toward the end of the sentence.

The grammar and the structure of the Japanese language affects our ways of thinking, contemplating, and expressing it in both speech and writing. When I speak or write in Japanese, though I have no problems to do so, I feel my right brain is more activated than the left. When I appreciate beautiful Tanka and Haiku poems in Japanese, my imagination and artistic creativity seem to be elevated by reading hidden profundity behind the words.

I usually think and write (and dream!) everything in English, whose structure and contents are in logical orders and patterns. I believe using English would benefit not only my writing but also thinking in more logically structured specificity and clarity.