Frieda Hoffman
FRIEDA HOFFMAN is a transformative coach and mediator, creative consultant, and entrepreneur with a passion for supporting women and courageous leadership. As a coach, she aspires to uplift her clients and break down the barriers that keep so many from stepping into their full potential. As a writer, she aims to cultivate compassion, strength, and a greater sense of connection, particularly for and amongst women. She holds an MA in social work and conflict management from Berlin’s Alice Salomon University, a dual BA in psychology and anthropology from Johns Hopkins University, and is an ICF Professional Certified Coach. Carry Me: Stories of Pregnancy Loss is her first book. She currently resides in Oakland, CA.
Favorite non-reading activity?
I’ll just combine several of my favorites into a familiar scene in my apartment: soaking in a bubble bath with my journal and a glass of wine after a woodsy hike with friends. Pure bliss!
Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?
Has anyone who’s not a complete narcissist not experienced this kind of self-doubt?! Absolutely, and it’s that fear of failure and judgment that gets the better of me. I had it when I started my first business, in 2009, and I still had it after successfully selling it six years later! The doubts evolved, as my knowledge and confidence grew, but they stubbornly remained in some shape or form until I started my own coaching practice and embodied a more abundant mindset rooted in curiosity and compassion.
It’s something most of my coaching clients struggle with as well. I think many of us creatives and entrepreneurs contend with these negative mindsets and can fall victim to comparison anxiety, especially when trying new behaviors or practices or in leadership roles where we often don’t receive feedback from our peers.
Is there a work of art that you love? Why? Have you ever visited it in person?
I could get lost in the tranquility of Vija Celmins’ meticulous pencil drawings of the ocean and other natural phenomena. She had an exhibit at the MoMA in San Francisco a few years ago, where I recall staring into these little canvases with their calming waves rolling on and on as if I were right there, bobbing in the water, not a worry in my bones.
If you could create a museum exhibition, what would be the theme?
What a fantastic question! It would have to be something around grief or the unspoken. We live in such a culture shrouded in shame and fear and judgment. I think part of my life’s work is to help people overcome those things and normalize the dialogue around taboo subjects. The more we can openly discuss things that make us feel isolated, ugly, ashamed, or fearful, the more we’re able to support one another and create meaningful change. This exhibition could include death, sex, money, human waste, violence and abuse, tacit discrimination, loss and grief–so many to choose from! I think the Hall of Taboos has a nice ring to it.
Do you speak a second language? Do you think differently in that language? Does it influence your writing?
I lived in Berlin for a good six years in my twenties and was speaking German fluently about a year in, which is a testament to my boyfriend and I deciding not to speak English anymore together after a few months learning the language. It’s a very different language structurally. I’m quite rusty now, as I’ve been in California for the last fourteen years, but I’ve found that my tone is firmer and the communication often more direct. There’s something about the grammar–perhaps that it feels so unlike English–that forces me to be clearer, more intentional. Perhaps in that regard it does influence my writing, insofar as I hope to find the most succinct way of communicating, in my own voice, without losing affect or character.
