Antonia Deignan

Antonia Deignan is a mother of five children by choice, a dancer by calling, and a writer by necessity. She was born on the East Coast but spent most of her life in the Midwest, where she danced with multiple dance companies and raised her children. She opened her own dance studio and directed a pre-professional dance company before a bike accident wish-boned her path, and her identity. Her work has been published in print magazines and online. Now retired, she resides in a beloved island home in Martha’s Vineyard, where she continues to be inspired and write. This is her first book.

Instagram: @Tunietal

Is there a genre of music that influences your writing/thinking? Do you listen to music while you write?

Yes, not only do I listen to music when I write, listening to music often inspires and generates a lot of the introspective prose in my writing. And while I enjoy all genres of music (even Country occasionally, ha!) Singer/Songwriter, Gospel, EDM, Alternative and Blues are my favorites and figure most prominently in my writing process. Because of my professional dance career, music has been a part of my inner vocabulary all my life, setting the tone for not only who I was as a  performer, but the ways in which I express myself ongoing, so it has organically become a treasure I source as a writer.

What piece of clothing tells the most interesting story about your life?   

I have thought about writing a piece about a leotard. Even now in my sixty-first trip around the sun, I wear one almost every day of the week. I love the feel of them against my skin, how they accommodate my twists and bends and arches. The ritual of sliding one on immediately triggers an upright posture, a sense of grace. I wear them underneath whatever else the day demands, exercise sweats, dresses on hot summer days, underneath sheer t-shirts (another lifelong preference) and party outfits. It goes like this: heartbeat, skin, leotard, passion, love.

Favorite non-reading activity?

There is a bundle of activities I try to pile into each day. But if I had to choose one only, I’d go with meditating. Which is funny. When I first studied yoga years ago, I was the student who came up with all the excuses she could to leave the studio before savasana (a form of meditating). I am a fast-twitch kid who gravitated first to dance, and when that ended, to anything else that made my heartrate skyrocket, (running/biking/swimming/tennis). But what I have come to realize, is that my inner game’s equanimity supports and strengthens every aspect of my existence. I have learned by slowing down, quieting my thoughts, and letting go (best I can) of my ego, I am able to deepen my gratitude for the gifts of life, and consequently, become a better athlete!

Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?

I think it’s nearly impossible to not experience imposter syndrome. When you write or when you strive toward anything that is beyond your comfort zone, you regrettably and invariably invite comparing yourself to others. Even factoring in that you have done your due diligence in preparation, skill training, research, study, or gathered luck; we still allow ourselves to attach to our ego’s need for praise, or recognition, or most fundamentally, being seen and loved. Letting go of the ego is a universal struggle. Letting go of the ego’s propensity to feeling like a fake, calls for learning self-compassion and kindness toward ourselves, which I believe are antidotes for combatting imposter syndrome.

Is there another profession you would like to try?

Ha! Do fish swim and is the sky blue? There are so many professions I’d like to try, and if indulged, my list would include a professional cellist, lounge singer, Moulin Rouge performer, ER doctor or nurse, marine biologist, chef, any sport professionally, film director, fashion designer, farmer, veterinarian, zookeeper, vigneron, dolphin trainer – but really that’s only so I could swim with them, and sailboat builder. I’m afraid that’s the tip of the iceberg.